Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
