So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
