So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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