I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
