Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
