They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
