Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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