Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
