:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
