her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum