She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
