when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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