he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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