You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
and you said cock pushups were impossible
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
