I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize