Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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