where am i from again
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
