kristin has been a bad kristin
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
