I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
