wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
