Got a toothbrush?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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