she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
