I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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