____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
