Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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