If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
