i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
