Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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