bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
