I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
