what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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