Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
