VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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