I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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