normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
