The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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