I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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