This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
