Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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