i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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