Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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