worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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