You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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