Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
