It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
