Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
