Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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