Are we in a gay sports bar?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
