WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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