Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
