You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
