I feel like abortions should bother me more
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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