Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
