That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS