Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good

(651): View more from Minnesota

who is this?

(612): View more from Minnesota

jesse's little brother

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(612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good (651): who is this? (612): jesse's little brother http://tfl.nu/8x0e

Replies (42) Good night (1785) Bad night (4878)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

Replies (11) Good night (1717) Bad night (645)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn

Replies (97) Good night (41418) Bad night (1983)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.

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(847): I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july. http://tfl.nu/a19z

Replies (20) Good night (5982) Bad night (655)
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(251): View more from Alabama

but she was nice to me.

(256): View more from Alabama

She was a fuckin STRIPPER.

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(251): but she was nice to me. (256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER. http://tfl.nu/n11b

Replies (25) Good night (2691) Bad night (3952)
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(845): View more from New York

First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

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(845): First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio... http://tfl.nu/v0nt

Replies (39) Good night (1116) Bad night (4468)
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(775): View more from Nevada

suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv

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(775): suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv http://tfl.nu/ew0a

Replies (19) Good night (3091) Bad night (826)
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(352): View more from Florida

I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(352): I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5 http://tfl.nu/tk6f

Replies (51) Good night (5798) Bad night (862)
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(217): View more from Illinois

he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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(217): he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate http://tfl.nu/55wo

Replies (14) Good night (997) Bad night (2585)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading

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(480): I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading http://tfl.nu/eqt2

Replies (8) Good night (2213) Bad night (931)
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(509): View more from Washington

Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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(509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys

Replies (6) Good night (2340) Bad night (946)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"

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(312): Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?" http://tfl.nu/y5jf

Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (599)
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(760): View more from California

I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?

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(760): I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right? http://tfl.nu/usy0

Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (616)
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(913): View more from Kansas

did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom

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(913): did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom http://tfl.nu/xnj2

Replies (5) Good night (2123) Bad night (561)
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(513): View more from Ohio

If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.

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(513): If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can. http://tfl.nu/a0mj

Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (304)

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