lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome