Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!