Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...

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  (502): i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is... http://tfl.nu/n91t
  Replies (40) Good night (4481) Bad night (772)
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  (805): View more from California

  woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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  (805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream." http://tfl.nu/w9nn
  Replies (11) Good night (4615) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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  (775): This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life. (1-775): Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life. http://tfl.nu/spac
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (3146)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (9128) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (9485) Bad night (1387)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3796) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.

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  (504): All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup. http://tfl.nu/pyk9
  Replies (3) Good night (1780) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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  (619): Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't. http://tfl.nu/8mv6
  Replies (14) Good night (4553) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (1020) Bad night (1811)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager

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  (607): wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager http://tfl.nu/0mj0
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.

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  (423): The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups. http://tfl.nu/v1g8
  Replies (1) Good night (2612) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday

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  (301): This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/hzvp
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.

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  (814): You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios. http://tfl.nu/hqlk
  Replies (3) Good night (372) Bad night (502)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions

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  (443): Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions http://tfl.nu/xzqy
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (307)

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