I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.