i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think weed is turning my hair brown
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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