i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
