First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
