Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I could fuck to npr.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
