im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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