But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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