All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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