I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
